Boys, males, men. They’re trapped. Society imprints in our brains this image of the masculine role being biologically fixed into a young boy. When really, this idea of masculinity has been socially constructed. We need to redefine and make known what it means to be a man, so we can avert how men act and struggle today.

Four phrases society says to boys growing up. One: Be a man: Said a father, whose idea of a man is to use his fist, teaching sons to take the pain as it was taught for him. Two: Don’t act like a girl. But what’s wrong with being a girl? Three: Boys will be boys. This allows them to feel as if they don’t need permission or respect boundaries. Resulting in the devaluation of girls. Four: Boys don't cry. Not when he falls down, not when he mentally breaks down, and certainly not when his best friend died or when he was about to commit suicide. If society is making men compare crying to weakness, then why is it okay for us to let girls cry? How are boys less of a man when they show emotion and not less of a man when they have no right leg?

You see men are stuck in a box. One of which is forced upon them right from birth. Tony Porter, an American activist, calls this box “The man box”. It contains your typical masculine things: don’t show weakness, have dominance of women. Even associating masculinity with sexual conquest, use a girl to gratify your physical need, or use her to validate some kind of masculine insecurity. This is all influenced by parents, TV, friends, and even social trends. This traditional idea of masculinity is an intergenerational cycle. Parents teach sons who then teach their sons how a boy should act, should feel, and should be.

Males' emotions aren’t permitted to run their course, and their burdens are to be buried and not learned. 80% of men suffer from Alexithymia, which is the inability to put feelings and emotions into words. Constant suppression of these emotions. Layer after layer until there is no space left. Men let it out through anger, violence, and hate. Targeted toward us women because they see us as inferior. Grown men are living in pain, trapped within this idea that having emotions makes you less of a man. And if they don’t follow up this masculine role they are made fun of, called names, and physically punished by friends and family. Some won’t live with that. An increased rate of depression and suicide has concluded the leading cause of death of young males. That number is still increasing after the age of 16.

Society should get rid of these phrases. The media should present male characters outside of the man box. And family and friends should remind them not to separate their hearts from their heads. We should let boys be who they want to be. Allow them to cry and talk about their emotions.

Because If we don't like the way men in this world are acting, then why are we raising them that masculinity makes a man, that it comes with your gender? Let’s liberate this manhood for our boys the right and the equal way so fewer men act in a terrible way. It’s how we nurture and teach boys to grow up, that they become what they are today. Boys, Males, Men. I thought they had it easy until I thought again.